First In-vitro Baby Mac 'n' Cheeze

Louise Joy Brown was the first human to be born following IVF. One of the two doctors who developed IVF (and won the Nobel Prize in Medicine for it last year) attended Louise's wedding in 2004. (Can I get an "aw.") To my great surprise, Albino Luciani (who would soon after become Pope John Paul I) "expressed concerns about the possibility that artificial insemination could lead to women being used as 'baby factories,' but also refused to condemn the parents of the child" (Wiki). Part of me wants to advocate for adoption over IVF, and another (stronger) part wants to tell that part to shut up and stop universalizing. Giving birth is an awesome (in the formal sense) experience. I recently listened to a new mother describe how birth was singularly painful yet mostly manageable because it's purposive and purposeful. It's transformative and creative in a way no other physiological pain is because it doesn't signal that something is terribly wrong.

Something that is unequivocally right: this meal! Well, not unequivocally; I'd use only 1/2-3/4 of a package of Daiya next time. And maybe heat the kale at a somewhat lower temperature. 425F?

Prep time: approx. 45 min.

Servings: approx. 6-8

INGREDIENTS:

1 lb. macaroni

1 c. nutritional yeast

2/3 c. vegetable broth

1 1/3 c. water

1 spoonful tahini

1 spoonful Dijon mustard

2 Tbsp. lemon juice

ground sea salt

ground black pepper

1 lb. soft silken tofu

1 package Daiya mozzarella

1/4 avocado, sliced

3 sun-dried tomatoes, sliced

1/2 bundle of kale (4-7 stalks), leaves torn

DIRECTIONS:

1. Cook the macaroni.

2. In a smallish pot over medium-high heat, stir half the nutritional yeast, tahini, and mustard into the water, broth, and lemon juice. Add lots of salt and pepper.

3. After the sauce has been boiling for a few minutes, reduce to medium heat and let reduce. Stir in the rest of the yeast. Reduce heat to a minimum once the sauce is approx. half the original volume.

4. Preheat the oven to 500F. On a baking sheet or shallow pan, toss kale leaves with some olive oil or Earth Balance spread. Bake for approx. 8 min. (I wasn't paying attention, though, so don't take my word for it) or until kale is crispy but not burnt.

5. When the macaroni is cooked, drain and pour into a casserole tray. With your hands, mash the tofu up with the macaroni. Pour the cheeze sauce over it and top with Daiya, then stir everything together. Bake for 5 min.

6. Top with avocado, sun-dried tomatoes, and Cholula hot sauce.

Harry Dean Stanton's Natal Day Pasta

 

Harry Dean Stanton is 85 today! He's been in a million and a half films. I've seen only several of them, most recently Paris, Texas. Sort of ambivalent about it, but Ry Cooder's soundtrack is incredible. My girlfriend and I are listening to it right now.

Tonight's meal was prepared almost entirely by my girlfriend. She's better at pastas than I am. I boiled the pasta and cut the broccoli and patted myself on the back and danced to some old songs (rap and punk) I hadn't listened to in months or years.

makes approx. 3-4 servings

INGREDIENTS:

2/3 lb. penne pasta

2 crowns broccoli, florets

3 portabello mushrooms, sliced

1/3 package Yves vegan pepperoni, diced

1 handful sun-dried black olives, quartered

1 handful grape tomatoes, halved

3 large cloves of garlic, minced

handful Daiya mozzarella

dried basil

dried thyme [Update: My girlfriend would like to stress that absolutely no thyme was used in this recipe and thyme is not a proper Italian herb and she does not cook with thyme but with oregano.]

ground sea salt

ground black pepper

olive oil

Earth Balance spread

hot chili oil

DIRECTIONS:

1. Cook the pasta.

2. Sauté the broccoli in oil and Earth Balance over medium heat. After a few minutes, add the mushrooms. Then comes the pepperoni.

3. When the pasta's done, drain it. Pour more olive oil and Earth Balance in the pot and sauté the garlic, olives, and grape tomatoes. Season with oregano and basil (and red pepper flakes, if you've got them). Toss the penne back in and mix together.

4. Season with salt and pepper. Add the contents of the pan to the pot and cook over low heat for a while. Drizzle hot chili oil over everything, followed by some Daiya.

Again, this recipe has been brought to you by my girlfriend. The following photo of Harry Dean Stanton and companions is brought to you by Gawker.

The Anxiety of Quesadillas

 

Harold Bloom was born 81 years ago and he's still at it. He's best known as a literary critic. I'm only familiar with his essay, "The Anxiety of Influence." I wonder if he's anxious at all about his own influence, or just about the pernicious trap of poetic influence. Strangely (and wryly), the "Influence" section of Bloom's Wikipedia page is a long list of declarations Bloom has made about who the best living writers are. Taste: the weakest kind of criticism.

Except when it comes to food! This quesadilla tasted good, which makes it a good quesadilla. This quesadilla is not plagued by the givenness of its form or the inescapability of its culinary lineage.

makes 2

INGREDIENTS:

2 large tortillas

1 package Daiya pepper jack

1 package Daiya mozzarella

1 can black beans, drained and rinsed

2 jalapenos, diced

2 Roma tomatoes, diced

1/4 c. chopped green onion

1/2 red bell pepper, diced

4 white mushrooms, sliced

ground sea salt

cumin

DIRECTIONS:

1. In a pan over medium heat, sauté the vegetables. Season with a little bit of salt and cumin. Transfer to a bowl.

2. Lightly coat the pan in oil and place a tortilla on it. Cover with pepper jack cheese, spread half of the vegetables on top, cover with mozzarella, and place the second tortilla on top.

3. After approx. 6-8 minutes, flip. If you do like we did and use a cast iron pan, put a plate face-down on the quesadilla. My girlfriend donned oven mitts and caught the plate as I rotated the pan. Cook the other side until browned.

4. Serve with salsa (in this case fresh store-bought), guacamole (homemade: I think my girlfriend used two avocados, a bunch of cilantro, lots of lime juice, and some salt), and vegan sour cream (Tofutti).

If you like reading my comic, here's the latest (acknowledgments: Donnie Darko). The editor of Tiny Mix Tapes sent me this link. How does anyone find anything on Twitter?

I wrote another very short story for Nanoism.