Harry Dean Stanton's Natal Day Pasta

 

Harry Dean Stanton is 85 today! He's been in a million and a half films. I've seen only several of them, most recently Paris, Texas. Sort of ambivalent about it, but Ry Cooder's soundtrack is incredible. My girlfriend and I are listening to it right now.

Tonight's meal was prepared almost entirely by my girlfriend. She's better at pastas than I am. I boiled the pasta and cut the broccoli and patted myself on the back and danced to some old songs (rap and punk) I hadn't listened to in months or years.

makes approx. 3-4 servings

INGREDIENTS:

2/3 lb. penne pasta

2 crowns broccoli, florets

3 portabello mushrooms, sliced

1/3 package Yves vegan pepperoni, diced

1 handful sun-dried black olives, quartered

1 handful grape tomatoes, halved

3 large cloves of garlic, minced

handful Daiya mozzarella

dried basil

dried thyme [Update: My girlfriend would like to stress that absolutely no thyme was used in this recipe and thyme is not a proper Italian herb and she does not cook with thyme but with oregano.]

ground sea salt

ground black pepper

olive oil

Earth Balance spread

hot chili oil

DIRECTIONS:

1. Cook the pasta.

2. Sauté the broccoli in oil and Earth Balance over medium heat. After a few minutes, add the mushrooms. Then comes the pepperoni.

3. When the pasta's done, drain it. Pour more olive oil and Earth Balance in the pot and sauté the garlic, olives, and grape tomatoes. Season with oregano and basil (and red pepper flakes, if you've got them). Toss the penne back in and mix together.

4. Season with salt and pepper. Add the contents of the pan to the pot and cook over low heat for a while. Drizzle hot chili oil over everything, followed by some Daiya.

Again, this recipe has been brought to you by my girlfriend. The following photo of Harry Dean Stanton and companions is brought to you by Gawker.

Saxophone Penne with Garlic Bread

Adolphe Sax patented the saxophone on June 28, 1846. (This was prior to the wacky intellectual property laws we know and suffer, so Sax's patent was good for only 15 years.) There were 14 versions of the design, some of which must not have caught on, because as far as I know from my days of playing alto (and occasionally bari) in school bands there are only 7 or 8 versions in semi-common use these days. [I just looked it up on Wikipedia, and apparently there are a bunch of weirdo variants, e.g. a straight-necked B♭ tenor.] Anyway, thanks, Adolphe, for giving the world such a great instrument and helping African Americans revolutionize Western music again. (N.B. "jazz" was originally slang for "sex," so it's not totally juvenile when I call it a "sexaphone.")

Speaking of juvenility, the past few days have been full of poop. Poopie diapers! My girlfriend and I are in Maine with her friend and her friend's adorable two-and-half-year-old son. Fun in the sun. Fun with marbles. Not fun: Clambake, a local mega seafood restaurant with taxidermy hell decor. Luckily, g.friend and friend were also disgusted. Young one cried lots and had to be walked home in a harness.

Also not fun: spotted in Red Hook, NY prior to Maine leg, a mobile pig incinerator parked outside a church!

For dinner on Tuesday we had to make do with what was in the "cabin" (actually a really comfortable 2-bedroom house by the beach) and what we scrounged up at the local Hannaford, a grocery store I first became acquainted with in Red Hook.

makes 3-4 servings

INGREDIENTS:

1 lb. penne pasta

1 big can of whole peeled tomatoes

1/2 medium eggplant, diced

1/2 yellow onion, diced

4 cloves garlic, minced

fresh parsley

fresh oregano

salt

ground black pepper

olive oil

agave syrup

DIRECTIONS:

1. Sauté the onion with some olive oil in a smallish pot over medium heat. Toss in the eggplant shortly after and let it get browned. Add the garlic.
2. Pour in the can of tomatoes. Crush with your hands or use a wooden spoon. Add seasonings to taste.
3. Cook the noodles. Dunzo, bon appetit!

Alcoholics Anonymous Penne with Pesto

AA was founded 76 years ago yesterday (which is when we ate this) by Dr. Bob Smith and Bill Wilson in Akron, OH. Two thumbs up for mutual aid groups. Everything I know about AA I learned from Infinite Jest. What a weird person I am.

Tonight Mom and Dad and I went to Himalayan Fusion for dinner. It was good. I'm not going to post a recipe for the past because I wasn't watching and because I think my mom just cooked some penne, sauteed some zucchini, and made basil pesto in a food processor with oil, lemon, salt, and pine nuts.

Grandma pointed out yesterday that it was Saul Bellow's birthday. I read Humboldt's Gift years ago. Didn't really like it. Anyway, Grandma wrote me this lovely ditty:

Grazie mille.

When the moon hits your eye 
Like penne or pizza pie 
That's amore. 
But a gauche gastronomical slight 
On old Saul Bellow is a serious fright.
Thus we historians must ask you why 
When you know he was a respected guy 
Not even breakfast?

When I asked her what she thought Saul might like, she replied with this:

While U Do the Hokey Pokey

U breakfast on 'Shrooms Smokey

With a Diet Cherry Cokey

That's what it's all about

That's the teddy bears' picnic

Now I know where my talent comes from.