Heaven's Gate Soup and Shrooms

On March 26, 1997, thirty-nine bodies were found in a rented mansion in California. Marshall Applewhite and 38 members of his UFO-themed spiritual evolution cult had committed carefully planned ritual suicide in three groups, with cyanide, arsenic, and plastic bags. They were trying to board a spaceship in order to escape a soon-to-be-recycled Earth. What a strange place to be.

This is a good recipe.

INGREDIENTS

1 1/4 c. Jacob's cattle beans

1/2 bundle kale leaves, chopped with stems

1/2 bundle watercress, chopped

5 c. water + at least 1 c. water

miso

cumin

coriander

cayenne

couple handfuls Baby Bella mushrooms, sliced

1/2 red onion, diced

1 clove garlic, minced

DIRECTIONS

1. Bring water and beans to boil and reduce to a simmer.

2. After 30 minutes, add kale and seasoning.

3. After another 30 minutes, add watercress.

4. Saute mushrooms with onion in oil over medium heat. Toss in garlic for a few minutes at the end.

Special cookbook review coming soon!

First In-vitro Baby Mac 'n' Cheeze

Louise Joy Brown was the first human to be born following IVF. One of the two doctors who developed IVF (and won the Nobel Prize in Medicine for it last year) attended Louise's wedding in 2004. (Can I get an "aw.") To my great surprise, Albino Luciani (who would soon after become Pope John Paul I) "expressed concerns about the possibility that artificial insemination could lead to women being used as 'baby factories,' but also refused to condemn the parents of the child" (Wiki). Part of me wants to advocate for adoption over IVF, and another (stronger) part wants to tell that part to shut up and stop universalizing. Giving birth is an awesome (in the formal sense) experience. I recently listened to a new mother describe how birth was singularly painful yet mostly manageable because it's purposive and purposeful. It's transformative and creative in a way no other physiological pain is because it doesn't signal that something is terribly wrong.

Something that is unequivocally right: this meal! Well, not unequivocally; I'd use only 1/2-3/4 of a package of Daiya next time. And maybe heat the kale at a somewhat lower temperature. 425F?

Prep time: approx. 45 min.

Servings: approx. 6-8

INGREDIENTS:

1 lb. macaroni

1 c. nutritional yeast

2/3 c. vegetable broth

1 1/3 c. water

1 spoonful tahini

1 spoonful Dijon mustard

2 Tbsp. lemon juice

ground sea salt

ground black pepper

1 lb. soft silken tofu

1 package Daiya mozzarella

1/4 avocado, sliced

3 sun-dried tomatoes, sliced

1/2 bundle of kale (4-7 stalks), leaves torn

DIRECTIONS:

1. Cook the macaroni.

2. In a smallish pot over medium-high heat, stir half the nutritional yeast, tahini, and mustard into the water, broth, and lemon juice. Add lots of salt and pepper.

3. After the sauce has been boiling for a few minutes, reduce to medium heat and let reduce. Stir in the rest of the yeast. Reduce heat to a minimum once the sauce is approx. half the original volume.

4. Preheat the oven to 500F. On a baking sheet or shallow pan, toss kale leaves with some olive oil or Earth Balance spread. Bake for approx. 8 min. (I wasn't paying attention, though, so don't take my word for it) or until kale is crispy but not burnt.

5. When the macaroni is cooked, drain and pour into a casserole tray. With your hands, mash the tofu up with the macaroni. Pour the cheeze sauce over it and top with Daiya, then stir everything together. Bake for 5 min.

6. Top with avocado, sun-dried tomatoes, and Cholula hot sauce.

First Parking Meter Soup

[Photo by A.]

The first parking meter was developed over two years by two engineering professors at Oklahoma State University and installed in Oklahoma City on July 16, 1935. The meter was called "Black Maria." I want to know why and I don't want to know why.

A. requested this soup, based on a version I made a couple months ago but didn't post about (apparently). It's thick and nutritious and delicious. Nuff said, here's the deets.

prep. time: approx. 1 hr

servings: approx. 8-10

INGREDIENTS:

2 c. vegetable broth

6 c. water

1 large yellow onion, diced

1 large yellow zucchini (or summer squash), chopped

1 large yellow bell pepper, sliced

2 small jalapeños, diced

3 cloves garlic, sliced

2 cloves garlic, minced

1 c. quinoa
1 lb. firm silken tofu, cubed

4 stalks kale, leaves torn

1 c. frozen corn

1 15-oz. can black beans

1 package Daiya pepper jack

5 spoonfuls Tofutti sour cream

juice of 1/2 lime

juice of 1/4 lemon

1 bunch cilantro

cayenne

coriander

ground sea salt

ground black pepper

DIRECTIONS:
1. Sauté onion with oil in a large pot over medium-high heat. Once slightly caramelized, add vegetable broth and water.
2. Meanwhile, sauté zucchini, bell pepper, and jalapeños in a pan. Once browned toss in garlic for a couple minutes, then add pan contents to the pot. Bring to a simmer.
3. Add lime and lemon juice, cilantro, and seasonings. Stir in quinoa.
4. After 5 minutes, add tofu. After another 5 minutes, add kale. After another couple minutes, add corn and black beans.
5. Once quinoa is cooked (should only take 15 minutes) and soup is desired viscosity, turn off the heat and stir in Daiya cheese and Tofutti sour cream. Let cool and thicken, serve with tortilla chips, Cholula hot sauce, and apple lime cider.

April Fools' Day Meal

April Fools' Day is obnoxious. There's no joke here.

Tonight's meal didn't know what it wanted to be. I had tofu, potatoes, kale, and mushrooms. I was going to make scrambled tofu with a red jalapeño and maybe some quinoa, then I was going to use soy sauce and maybe make some rice. What I settled on was balsamic vinegar, red wine vinegar, sherry, sage, oregano, and parsley. Sort of weird with tofu (and a jalapeño), but I liked it. I baked the kale until crispy.

I'm not posting a recipe because it's straightforward and I've done it many times before. Maybe it's a function of the season (root vegetables ad nauseum), but I've been making the same half-dozen or so meals on rotation. Which doesn't make for interesting reading, I'm sure. Hence the following announcement:

Indefinite hiatus due to lack of inspiration.

Ides of March Black Beans with Vegetables and Quinoa

Julius Caesar was stabbed to death 2055 years ago. It's incredible to me that such an historically distant event could have enough cultural significance as to admit of reference without elaboration. But of course there are tons of similar examples. The continuity of tradition.

I have to study for a modal logic midterm tomorrow, so this recipe's gonna be sketchy. I've been able to cook kidney and navy beans and chickpeas satisfactorily, but for some reason dry black beans resist me. Even after an overnight soak and 2 1/2 hours on the stove they were a bit starchy/hard.

makes approx. 3 servings

INGREDIENTS:

1 c. black beans

4 c. water

1/2 c. quinoa

1 c. water

bagful of kale, leaves torn and stems chopped

1 Satina potato, peeled and cubed

1 c. frozen sweet corn

5 shallots, diced

coconut oil

water

agave nectar

salt

ground black pepper

cumin

coriander

sherry

hot sauce

DIRECTIONS:

1. Soak the beans overnight. Simmer for at least 2 1/2 hours.

2. Sauté the shallots in coconut oil in a large pan. Add the kale stems.

3. Bring a small pot of water to a boil. Cook potato until tender.

4. Add corn and kale leaves to the pan. In a measuring cup, mix water, agave nectar, and seasoning. Pour into pan with sherry and cover.

5. Simmer quinoa for 15 min.

6. Uncover pan and add potato. Heat through.

Real bad news for people who resist animal oppression. As if there weren't enough reasons to hate the prison-industrial complex. The government better get wise to the fact that this level of repression is going to come back to bite them.

(UPDATE 3/16/11: My favorite song is appropriate for the occasion.)

National Freedom Macaroni Greens with Baked Kale

President Lincoln signed the Amendment outlawing slavery on February 1, 1865. So now we're in the clear 146 years later, right? Fuck no. Get wise to your privilege, because white supremacy is a bifocal ideology, working through a positive form, oppression, and a negative form, privilege. Hierarchies abound, and liberation is only possible when it's total.

This recipe's based on Isa's Creamy Red Chard Linguine. This is the first time I've cooked with cabbage. Don't know if I did it right, but I was surprised at its sweetness. Forgetting to add lemon juice turned out to be a significant omission. I tried to make kale chips, but I don't know what other people are doing cuz mine turned out nothing like chips. Maybe I shouldn't have layered the pieces? Maybe my pieces were too large? Maybe the kale was too wet?

makes approx. 4 servings

INGREDIENTS:

1/2 lb. macaroni

1 bunch kale, de-leafed, stalks diced

1 medium red onion, chopped

2 cloves garlic, minced

2 cloves garlic, pressed

1/2 cabbage, torn

1 fistful pea greens

1 tsp. thyme

1/2 tsp. sage

1/2 tsp. tarragon

1/2 tsp. salt

2 Tbsp. red wine vinegar

1 Tbsp. cooking sherry

1/2 c. cashews

1 1/2 c. water

1 Tbsp. tahini

1/4 c. yeast flakes

1 tsp. red pepper flakes

oil

DIRECTIONS:

1. Soak the cashews in water for an hour.

2. Preheat oven to 350F.

3. Cook the onion in oil in a large pan over medium heat. Once translucent, add the minced garlic. After a couple minutes, add the pressed garlic, thyme, sage, tarragon, salt, and kale stems.

4. Place kale leaves in pan or on a baking sheet. Drizzle with olive oil and salt, bake for 12 min. Turn up heat to 350F and bake another 6 min.

5. Add cabbage leaves and pea greens to pan along with 1/2 c. water. Cover and cook for several minutes.

6. Puree cashews in 1 c. water. Once smooth, blend in tahini, yeast flakes, red pepper (and lemon juice).

7. Cook macaroni (or whatever pasta you have handy).

8. Pour the contents of the blender in the pan, bring to a boil, then simmer for several minutes, until the desired consistency.

9. After pasta is cooked, add to pan and coat. Serve with baked kale.

That's all.