Dinner for Parents

Tonight I made dinner for three. (Wish you were here, Leigh!)

THE MENU:

1. Black bean burgers.

2. Zucchini and summer squash fried with onion.

3. Chocolate avocado cake. (Thanks, Izzy Darby!)

The recipe called for 2 c. sugar; I used a little more than 1 c. I also recommend sticking the frosting in the freezer. Or adding some sort of thickener. (Ground flax seed? A bit of flour? Melted chocolate? Yes, next time I think I'll make ganache instead of avocado-based frosting.)

Looks like I haven't posted a recipe for black bean patties yet, so here it is. I forgot to make rice, but lately I've been using 1/4 c. rice in my patties.

makes 4 large patties

INGREDIENTS:

1 15-oz. can black beans, rinsed

1/2 green bell pepper, diced

1/2 yellow onion, diced

1 jalapeño, diced
3 cloves garlic, diced
soy sauce
olive oil
apple cider vinegar
1/3 c. bread crumbs
1/2 c. wheat gluten
1 Tbsp. ground flax seed
2 Tbsp. water
cumin
chipotle chili powder
coriander
dried cilantro

DIRECTIONS:
1. Mash the beans in a large bowl.
2. Sauté the onion, peppers, and garlic in a pan over medium heat. Wait to add the garlic or it might burn.
3. Stir the ground flax seed and water in a small bowl.
4. Mix the contents of the pan into the mashed beans. Pour in some soy sauce and apple cider vinegar (approx. 3 Tbsp. and 1 Tbsp., respectively) and olive oil (something like 1/4 c.). Add the flax seed and water mixture (i.e., a flax egg... I think). Season to taste and mix it all together.
5. Add the breadcrumbs and wheat gluten. Stir with a wooden spoon or whatever you used to mash the beans, then knead until gluten strings form.
6. Fry in some oil in a large pan on medium-high for 10 or so, or as long as it takes to get each side browned and crispy.

March Equinox Black Bean Burgers and Brownies

It's the vernal equinox, folks, except I'm calling it March equinox because it's only springtime in the Northern Hemisphere. Thanks for the heads up on geographic sensitivity, Wikipedia!

Haven't posted recently because it's been a rough few days. There isn't gonna be any proper recipe in this post, because my dinner was the same sort of bean patty I've posted about previously. Black beans, corn, yellow onion, garlic, olive oil, balsamic vinegar, bread crumbs, vital wheat gluten, sage, tarragon, parsley, paprika. On the burger goes tomato, onion, sun-dried tomato-stuffed olives, baby arugula, and fried shiitake mushrooms. I'm sure I'm not the first person to overcook shiitake mushrooms, but it's a great idea if you want them to be like chips. And you do, because it's great.

The aioli I learned how to make Friday night when my friend cooked portabello mushroom burgers. Mix veganaise, olive oil, cayenne, garlic, and lemon juice. Delicious.

These brownies would have been fantastic if I'd just added a few tablespoons more sugar to the mousse frosting. These were chocolate-y but not quite sweet. Not a pleasant surprise.

Tiny Mix Tapes published an article I wrote a few months ago about Avatar: The Last Airbender. It's sort embarrassing how sincere it is.

Vegan Dinner for Two! #1

My friend came over last night to cook bean burgers. She baked some brownies which narrowly missed the vegan mark. Luckily for our sweet teeth, I'd made a chocolate cheezecake using a recipe from a book my parents gave me for Christmas, My Sweet Vegan. I'd put up the recipe, but I'm not feeling motivated right now. I couldn't find vegan graham crackers, so I made my own using this recipe.

I used a little bit of Tofutti, but most of the cream cheeze I made from scratch using this recipe. So much work! It's obscenely rich and chocolate-y.

The burgers were my standard recipe which I'm too lazy to link to. To go with those I baked some rolls using this recipe. Also blended up some cashews, avocado, vegetable broth, and cilantro for a spread. Yum!

The "#1" in the title of this post is a bit of magical thinking. If there's a first, there's gotta be a second. Who else wants to make dinner with me?

Oh yeah, Tiny Mix Tapes is gonna be publishing my comic, A Thousand K.s. Here's "Loneliness."

CORRECTION: Not pictured (because consumed before photo shoot), sweet potato fries.

Kansas Red Kidney Bean Patty Open Sandwich with Green Spread

 

That title's a mouthful, and so is this recipe! Hahaha ugh. This one's named for the 150th anniversary of Kansas' admission as the 34th state. It makes use of the failed bread recipe from yesterday, which I thought I'd be able to fry like chapati bread. I was wrong. Since the dough is sort of sticky it made a mess in the pan. So I rolled it up again, flattened it out, and baked it. Bam. Kinda weird, but whatever. I think tomorrow I'll venture a third attempt at recuperating all that flour by boiling the dough. Bagels?

One thing to note is that I meant to use only 1/4 cup of water in the patties but wasn't paying attention to the measuring cups and used 1/3. There seems to be a new trend in my cooking of failure to properly mind water.

makes approx. 4-5 servings

Patties

INGREDIENTS:

1 15.5-oz. can red kidney beans, drained and rinsed

1/2 c. bread crumbs

1/2 c. vital wheat gluten

1/3 c. water

2 Tbsp. shoyu soy sauce

2 Tbsp. olive oil

1 small white onion, diced

3 cloves garlic, minced

1 tsp. tarragon

1 tsp. sage

1/2 tsp. thyme

1/2 tsp. paprika

DIRECTIONS:

1. Fry the onion in a pan with some oil over medium heat. When translucent, add garlic for a minute or two. Remove from heat.

2. Preheat the oven to 350F.

2. Mash the kidney beans in a large mixing bowl with a wooden spoon or other blunt instrument. Add everything else, mix together, and knead with your hands until it holds together in a dough. Line a baking sheet with parchment paper, form the dough into patties, and stick those suckers in the oven. After 15 min., flip them and flatten them out if need be, then bake for another 15 min.

Spread

INGREDIENTS:

1/2 c. cashews

1/2 c. water

1 red bell pepper
1 avocado, skinned

1 jalapeno, chopped and partially seeded

1 Tbsp. sunflower oil

2 Tbsp. tahini

1 handful cilantro

1/3 c. water

1/4 tsp. salt

juice of 1/2 lemon

ground black pepper, to taste

DIRECTIONS:

1. Soak the cashews in water for several hours.

2. Roast the bell pepper over your gas burner. If you've got electric you're out of luck. I held the pepper by the stem, removed the grate (or whatever it's called), and cranked the burner to Hi. Wait for the skin to sizzle and blacken. Once it's crispy, place the pepper in a bowl and cover (e.g., with a dish towel).

3. Puree the cashews and water in a blender. Add remaining ingredients except bell pepper. Puree.

4. Seed the bell pepper. It's turn has come, so jam it into the bottom of the blender and press the button.

"Bun"

INGREDIENTS:

1 failed recipe of yeast bread

DIRECTIONS:

1. Attempt to fry in a pan over high heat. Remove from heat, knead, and form into a patty.

2. Bake at 350F for 10 minutes.

This is one of the only meals I've eaten with a fork and knife since going vegan. Maybe it's because I like to cut things up pretty well before cooking them, but a knife is only really essential when you're trying to slice through flesh.

I recently bought a book from Friends of Animals by Lee Hall, On Their Own Terms. According to some guy on the back cover, "In this fascinating and illuminating book, Lee Hall calls [...] upon us to seek and celebrate a world where fish can swim, free in clean water, and bees and birds can fly in peace. And it offers a plan to make it happen." Can't wait!

Green Lentil Patties with Spicy Green Spread

I didn't actually end up eating both of these. I went overboard with the spread so I was pretty full. If you anticipate liking the spread, consider increasing the recipe by 50-100%; I'm not sure I'll have enough to cover all the patties I made.

These were damn good, but next time I might cut down on the breadcrumbs a tad and substitute some wheat gluten. If you have a food processor (I don't), there's nothing to worry about. Also, I'm running low on spices so instead of using cumin and thyme or something I used garam masala, paprika, and coriander. Worked fine. The recipe for the patties is adapted from Isa's Olive Lentil Burgers.

makes 4-6 patties

Patties

INGREDIENTS:

3/4 c. green lentils, uncooked

1 small yellow onion, diced

3 cloves garlic, minced

2 handfuls shiitake mushrooms, stemmed and diced

1 c. breadcrumbs

2 Tbsp. oil

2 Tbsp. soy sauce

1/2 tsp. garam masala

1/2 tsp. paprika

1/4 tsp. coriander

ground black pepper

DIRECTIONS:

1. Cook lentils. Drain and set aside.

2. Fry the onions in a pan for a few minutes. Add the garlic, then a minute later throw in the mushrooms. Cook for another several minutes, then set aside.

3. Preheat the oven to 350F.

4. In a mixing bowl, combine the lentils, contents of the pan, and everything else besides 1/2 c. of the breadcrumbs. Mash for a few minutes until the mixture begins to coalesce.

5. Add in the remaining breadcrumbs (or wheat gluten if you're trying that) and knead until a dough forms.

6. Apportion the dough into between 4 and 6 patties, depending on how fat you want them.

7. Line a baking sheet with parchment paper and place the patties on it. Bake for 12-15 minutes, then flip and bake on the other side for approximately the same amount of time.

Spread

INGREDIENTS:

2 c. shelled edamame

1 jalapeno, chopped

6 sun-dried red tomatoes

1/3 c. pine nuts

4 Tbsp. oil

3/4 c. water
juice of 1/4 lemon
1/4 tsp. lemon zest

DIRECTIONS:

1. Cook the edamame in a pan over medium heat for a couple minutes. Add the jalapeno, and after another couple minutes add the pine nuts. Pine nuts burn easily, but they shouldn't be too bad in there with other things. Cook until you can smell the pine nuts or until you catch a sight of some browning. Remove from the heat.

2. Place the sun-dried tomatoes, water, oil, and contents of pan in a blender. (Secret: I used 1 Tbsp. peanut oil. Magic.) Puree until relatively consistent.

Done! There is one major cost, though...

For those who read to the end, here's a special treat. I figure I'll start posting cool non-food links. I had never heard of Charles Cohen, Jeff Cain, or this album until the other day, but it has got to be one of the coolest things from 1981. I wasn't even alive!