Gogol's Dead Soul Dinner

Nikolai Gogol's Dead Souls is great. Dead Nikolai Gogol is neither great nor not-great. What's really not-great is how he died. Check out what Wikipedia says:

His health was undermined by exaggerated ascetic practices and he fell into a state of deep depression. On the night of 24 February 1852 [according to the Julian calendar; this post is in accordance with the New Style dates of the Gregorian], he burned some of his manuscripts, which contained most of the second part of Dead Souls. He explained this as a mistake, a practical joke played on him by the Devil. Soon thereafter he took to bed, refused all food, and died in great pain nine days later.

[...] His body was discovered lying face down; which gave rise to the story that Gogol had been buried alive.

Would Gogol have refused all food if they'd served him red quinoa with curried stew? ... Just kidding :(

serves: 3-4

prep. time: approx. 30 min.

INGREDIENTS

2/3 c.red quinoa

1 carrot, peeled and chopped

some kale, chopped

some red cabbage, sliced

4 c.water

3/4 c.

1 sweet potato, peeled and cubed

curry powder

miso

nutritional yeast

1. Cook red quinoa according to package directions.

2. Saute carrot, kale, and red cabbage (weird combo, huh?) in coconut oil in a pot.

3. Bring water to a boil with red lentils and sweet potato, then reduce to a simmer. Season with curry powder if you're lazy like me. Stir in some miso.

4. Mix nutritional yeast into the quinoa. Throw everything together in a bowl.

André the Giant no longer has a Posse Bulgar Stew

André the Giant (André René Roussimoff) died in his sleep January 27, 1993 (age: 46). His acromegaly caused congestive heart failure while André was in Paris for his father's funeral. Facts that will not make this story less sad: 1. André once consumed 19.5 gallons of beer in one sitting; 2. in the last years of his life, André was constantly in horrible pain; 3. André never fulfilled his wish of seeing a Broadway show because he didn't want to block other people's view; 4. too big to ride the school bus as a young teen, André was driven to school by his father's friend Samuel Beckett.

I made this stew the night before coming home to Virginia for a couple of weeks to look after our old dog while my parents are out of town. Have to wrap this up, because S. is giving me clear signals that it's past time for me to carry her up the stairs.

serves: 3

prep. time: approx. 30 minutes

INGREDIENTS

1 yellow onion, sliced

1/4 red cabbage, sliced

1 butternut squash, cubed

3/4 c. bulgar wheat

water

fenugreek seeds

oregano

salt

DIRECTIONS

1. Saute the onion with oil in a soup pot over medium-high heat.

2. Toss in everything except the bulgar wheat and water. Saute for a few minutes.

3. Pour in enough water to get the squash floating. Cover and bring to a boil.

4. Add bulgar wheat. Reduce heat; cook for 20 mins.

5. Let stand and cool. The bulgar will soak up a lot of the water.

The Testimony of a Ghost Tofu, Steamed Veggies, and Rice

Elva Zona Heaster was found dead on January 23, 1897. Her mother believed Elva's husband murdered her. To convince the prosecutor to reopen the case, Elva's mother referred to a vision she had had.

According to local legend, Zona appeared to her mother in a dream four weeks after the funeral. She said that Shue was a cruel man who abused her, and who had attacked her in a fit of rage when he believed that she had cooked no meat for dinner. He had broken her neck; to prove this, the ghost turned her head completely around until it was facing backwards.

I'd like to reiterate: "she had cooked no meat for dinner." Shue was convicted despite a lack of evidence because the jury believed Elva's mother's ghost story. I wish ghosts would get meathead assholes in trouble more often.

I haven't updated recently because I've been eating out a lot with my grandma. She left today. :(

serves: 3

prep. time: 50 min.

INGREDIENTS

1 c. brown jasmine rice

1 lb. tofu, cubed

6 kale leaves and stems, chopped

1/2 red cabbage, sliced

3 cloves garlic, minced

Bragg's liquid aminos

cayenne powder

dried parsley

DIRECTIONS

1. Cook the rice.

2. Steam the kale leaves and red cabbage.

3. Saute the tofu and kale stems in coconut oil. Add Bragg's periodically. Once the tofu starts to brown, season. Cook until desired texture.

I wrote an article for The Huffington Post about an incident that occurred at a bear bile farm in China in August of last year.

I also wrote this review of Aleph's album From Chaos to Cosmos for Tiny Mix Tapes.

Gavin Bryars' Birthday Pseudo-Borscht

I like Gavin Bryars' music. He was born on January 16, 1943. He studied philosophy at Sheffield before studying music. He began playing jazz but gave it up after seeing a young bassist play in an "artificial" way. He studied composition with John Cage. One of his first pieces, and the one I'm most familiar with, is called The Sinking of the Titanic. You can read about it here.

My friend W. made borscht awhile ago, which inspired me to make borscht. I do not know how to make borscht correctly, nor did I look up a recipe beforehand. What I made was more a stew than a soup. I don't have a grater, so I couldn't shred the beets. I wish I could have shredded the beats. Nevertheless, I present this recipe for a palatable pseudo-borscht.

serves: approx. 4

prep. time: approx. 30 min.

INGREDIENTS

1 beet, sliced thin (or shredded, if you have a grater)

1 red onion, sliced

1/2 head red cabbage, sliced

water

2 bay leaves

salt

garlic powder

DIRECTIONS

1. Throw everything in a pot and boil until the beets are nice and tender. Add water if you want it soupier.

Won't be posting tomorrow in (meager) solidarity with the internet blackout. STOP PIPA/SOPA!