Amadou Diallo Shooting Tofu Scramble Burrito

On February 4, 1999, four plainclothes policemen murdered an unarmed 23-year-old Guinean immigrant in the Bronx. Amadou Diallo ran up the outside steps to his apartment door after four plain-looking white dudes "loudly identified themselves as NYPD officers" (i.e., "Stop, NYPD!"). No shit he did. Diallo pulled his wallet out of his pocket, which one of the officers proclaimed was a gun (he apparently needed his contacts prescription updated). The hysterical goon then tripped backwards off the step, which his fellow officers took to mean he'd been shot (they apparently needed cochlear implants). The police fired 41 bullets, hitting Diallo 19 times. If you aren't already clutching your head, get ready. "The internal NYPD investigation ruled the officers had acted within policy, based on what a reasonable police officer would have done in the same circumstances with the information they had" (emphasis added). What is this, the metaphysics of color perception? An unarmed guy got shot at 41 times at close range. I'm sure you know how this ended, but here goes anyway. After a grand jury in the Bronx indicted the officers on charges of second-degree murder and reckless endangerment (i.e., justice), an appellate court ordered a change of venue to Albany, where the officers were acquitted (i.e., injustice). I'm not even gonna bother quoting NWA.

I made this burrito on the suggestion of my friend C.

serves: 3-4

prep. time: approx. 25 min.

INGREDIENTS

tortilla

1 lb. extra firm tofu, crumbled or cubed

1 Field Roast chipotle sausage, chopped

1 crown broccoli, chopped

1 small yellow onion, sliced

1 jalapeno, diced

1/2 pint grape tomatoes, halved

1/4 c. nutritional yeast

soy sauce

turmeric

cumin

DIRECTIONS

1. Saute the tofu and onion in oil over medium-high heat, stirring occasionally.

2. Once the tofu is browned, add the broccoli and Field Roast and jalapeno. Douse with soy sauce.

3. After the broccoli has turned bright green, season and coast with nutritional yeast.

4. Heat the tomatoes just long enough to soften the skin.

5. Wrap up in a tortilla with guacamole, salsa, and/or nondairy sour cream (e.g., Tofutti).

The Testimony of a Ghost Tofu, Steamed Veggies, and Rice

Elva Zona Heaster was found dead on January 23, 1897. Her mother believed Elva's husband murdered her. To convince the prosecutor to reopen the case, Elva's mother referred to a vision she had had.

According to local legend, Zona appeared to her mother in a dream four weeks after the funeral. She said that Shue was a cruel man who abused her, and who had attacked her in a fit of rage when he believed that she had cooked no meat for dinner. He had broken her neck; to prove this, the ghost turned her head completely around until it was facing backwards.

I'd like to reiterate: "she had cooked no meat for dinner." Shue was convicted despite a lack of evidence because the jury believed Elva's mother's ghost story. I wish ghosts would get meathead assholes in trouble more often.

I haven't updated recently because I've been eating out a lot with my grandma. She left today. :(

serves: 3

prep. time: 50 min.

INGREDIENTS

1 c. brown jasmine rice

1 lb. tofu, cubed

6 kale leaves and stems, chopped

1/2 red cabbage, sliced

3 cloves garlic, minced

Bragg's liquid aminos

cayenne powder

dried parsley

DIRECTIONS

1. Cook the rice.

2. Steam the kale leaves and red cabbage.

3. Saute the tofu and kale stems in coconut oil. Add Bragg's periodically. Once the tofu starts to brown, season. Cook until desired texture.

I wrote an article for The Huffington Post about an incident that occurred at a bear bile farm in China in August of last year.

I also wrote this review of Aleph's album From Chaos to Cosmos for Tiny Mix Tapes.