Heaven's Gate Soup and Shrooms

On March 26, 1997, thirty-nine bodies were found in a rented mansion in California. Marshall Applewhite and 38 members of his UFO-themed spiritual evolution cult had committed carefully planned ritual suicide in three groups, with cyanide, arsenic, and plastic bags. They were trying to board a spaceship in order to escape a soon-to-be-recycled Earth. What a strange place to be.

This is a good recipe.

INGREDIENTS

1 1/4 c. Jacob's cattle beans

1/2 bundle kale leaves, chopped with stems

1/2 bundle watercress, chopped

5 c. water + at least 1 c. water

miso

cumin

coriander

cayenne

couple handfuls Baby Bella mushrooms, sliced

1/2 red onion, diced

1 clove garlic, minced

DIRECTIONS

1. Bring water and beans to boil and reduce to a simmer.

2. After 30 minutes, add kale and seasoning.

3. After another 30 minutes, add watercress.

4. Saute mushrooms with onion in oil over medium heat. Toss in garlic for a few minutes at the end.

Special cookbook review coming soon!

McMartin Preschool Ritual Satanic Abuse Trial Tacos

On March 22, 1984, teachers and administrators at the McMartin preschool in Manhattan Beach, CA were charged with sexual abuse of children, as well as various bizarre things like "flying through the air." Well, that probably wasn't a formal charge, but it was nonetheless claimed by a mother of one of the kids that one of the teachers, Ray Buckey, could fly. Incredible, yet not incredible, that the most expensive criminal trial in US history began with the unbelievable allegations of one woman, Judy Johnson, who suffered from acute paranoid schizophrenia and who died from complications of chronic alcoholism before the preliminary hearing concluded. The whole thing is really confusing and sad. Ray Buckey spent five years in prison without ever being convicted. Hard to imagine how angry and mangled I'd be if that happened to me. Imagine too, how hard it must be for young black men in this country to resist the inheritance of rage due them after years trapped in a racist, oppressive judicial system. Not sure why that turn happened. I intended to stay on track and make a couple of quips about Satanism.

The taco on the left is by far superior to the taco on the right. I had no idea how to cook cactus; I still have no idea.

INGREDIENTS

tortillas

6 oz. Baby Bella mushrooms, sliced

1/2 bundle watercress, chopped

1 cactus "leaf," scraped and chopped

cumin

coriander

1/2 green cabbage, sliced

4 red potatoes, peeled and cubed

nutritional yeast

DIRECTIONS

1. Boil potatoes and cabbage in a pot until tender.

2. Saute mushrooms, watercress, and cactus until the cactus is no longer slimy. Season with cumin and coriander and salt.

3. Serve with salsa or hot sauce.

Abolition of the House of Lords Quinoa Salad

On March 19, 1649, the House of Commons passed an act abolishing the House of Lords, stating, "The Commons of England [find] by too long experience that the House of Lords is useless and dangerous to the people of England." Take that, nobility! Oh, but then it reconvened little more than ten years later, when the monarchy was restored. Those pesky aristocrats.

It's been freakishly summery here in B'klyn and the City. So a few days ago I made this simple, mostly raw salad. You could totally jazz it up with some apple cider vinegar and maybe like some, uh, I don't know.

INGREDIENTS

2/3 c. tri-color quinoa

1 red bell pepper, diced

1 mango, peeled and cubed or diced

1/2 cucumber, chopped or diced

1 avocado, chopped

grapeseed oil

nutritional yeast

juice of 1/4 lemon

DIRECTIONS

1. Cook quinoa

2. Toss everything together

My review of Nic Cage's new film isn't soft.

Birth of Bishop Berkeley Bandelion Boup

Bishop Berkeley was born exactly 326 years before I made this soup, at home in a castle. I'll leave it to you to resolve the ambiguity of that sentence. Berkeley (pronounced "Barkley") is best known for writing this crazy book of philosophy called A Treatise Concerning the Principles of Human Knowledge, which I haven't read in years but which I remember fondly as basically espousing a theory that the world is strictly perceptual, metaphysically speaking. As in, the computer I'm typing on right now doesn't exist at all independent of a perceptual apparatus. If I were to turn my back on the computer in an otherwise empty room, it would cease to exist if it weren't for God's omnipresent virtual gaze, the world being held in his mind's eye at all times. There's something unnervingly relevant and penetrating about a seventeenth-century reduction of ontology to the mere two categories ideas and spirits. Welcome to the internet.

This dandelion soup is an imitation of a soup my friend E. made a while back. It is not as good as hers and I don't know why. I think it might be because I used too much water and not enough oil and salt. Possibly the dandelion-to-cabbage ratio should be lower.

serves: 3-4

prep. time: approx. 30 min.

INGREDIENTS

1 lb. soft tofu, cubed

1 bundle dandelion leaves, chopped

1/2 green cabbage, sliced

water

garam masala

allspice

salt

1/2 bulb garlic, minced

some kind of seed oil

DIRECTIONS

1. Boil the vegetables and tofu in a pot of water. Season.

2. Once the cabbage is soft, transfer the soup in batches to a blender and liquefy.

3. Saute the garlic briefly in oil. Drizzle (or rather pour) over each bowl of soup.

A review of Gerhard Richter Painting.
A video of cows and a CEO.

Birth and Death of John of God Curry

 

Made this curry in VT on March 8 for my friend W.'s birthday, which also happens to be the birthday and deathday of John of God, a 16th-century Portuguese who's a big-shot dead guy in Spain, apparently. He experienced a religious conversion while listening to a sermon, went insane, was committed to an asylum, and when he got out he realized that the poor and vulnerable deserved better treatment than he'd received. I'll be damned if I know how to define the good life intensionally (no, I didn't spell that wrong), but if all you're looking for is an ostensive definition, John of God's Wiki bio serves nicely.

If you're making this for a normal-sized group of people, cut everything in half. I probably could have cut everything in half and been fine, because we had eight people but almost as many dishes (including kale and quinoa salad, pictured).

INGREDIENTS

2 cans coconut milk

2 lb. bag of brown jasmine rice

2 sweet potatoes, peeled and cubed

2 red bell peppers, diced

2 red habanero peppers, diced

2 cans chickpeas

at least 1/2 bulb garlic, minced

curry powder

salt

DIRECTIONS

1. Cook the rice.

2. Heat coconut milk in a large pot. Toss in potatoes and simmer.

3. Saute peppers and garlic in a pan with some coconut or olive or seed oil.

4. Add pan contents and chickpeas to pot, along with curry powder and salt. Reduce until desired consistency.

Review of Gerhard Richter Painting to be published tomorrow. Until then, enjoy a couple of videos I made recently (more to come): http://vimeo.com/timterhaar

Gogol's Dead Soul Dinner

Nikolai Gogol's Dead Souls is great. Dead Nikolai Gogol is neither great nor not-great. What's really not-great is how he died. Check out what Wikipedia says:

His health was undermined by exaggerated ascetic practices and he fell into a state of deep depression. On the night of 24 February 1852 [according to the Julian calendar; this post is in accordance with the New Style dates of the Gregorian], he burned some of his manuscripts, which contained most of the second part of Dead Souls. He explained this as a mistake, a practical joke played on him by the Devil. Soon thereafter he took to bed, refused all food, and died in great pain nine days later.

[...] His body was discovered lying face down; which gave rise to the story that Gogol had been buried alive.

Would Gogol have refused all food if they'd served him red quinoa with curried stew? ... Just kidding :(

serves: 3-4

prep. time: approx. 30 min.

INGREDIENTS

2/3 c.red quinoa

1 carrot, peeled and chopped

some kale, chopped

some red cabbage, sliced

4 c.water

3/4 c.

1 sweet potato, peeled and cubed

curry powder

miso

nutritional yeast

1. Cook red quinoa according to package directions.

2. Saute carrot, kale, and red cabbage (weird combo, huh?) in coconut oil in a pot.

3. Bring water to a boil with red lentils and sweet potato, then reduce to a simmer. Season with curry powder if you're lazy like me. Stir in some miso.

4. Mix nutritional yeast into the quinoa. Throw everything together in a bowl.

United States Presidential "Election" of 1876 Vegetable Stew

On March 2, 1876 (two days before inauguration), Congress declared Rutherford B. Hayes the winner of the presidential election. This was a bit strange, because Samuel J. Tilden had won a majority in the popular vote. Tilden held 184 electoral votes to Hayes's 165, with 20 disputed. Wow, do those numbers look fixed or what? To make a long story short, the political apparatus performed incredible feats of anti-demotic gymnastics, including the establishment of the Electoral Commission. Abolish the Electoral College! The Constitution is not sacred and the Founders were not heroes. We the people have been losing our self-determination from the very beginning on the basis of the very document that begins "We the people…" Elitism is pernicious.

Finally posting again now that I've settled into a new home. Here's to hoping Bella the cat gets more comfortable with me and ceases her nighttime meowing. Or that she gets less comfortable and stops aggressively soliciting attention at 4 a.m.

serves: 1-2

prep. time: approx. 25 min.

INGREDIENTS

1 russet potato, peeled and cubed

1 large carrot, peeled and chopped

6 oz. baby bella mushrooms

1 green bell pepper, chopped

1 Vidalia onion, sliced

3 cloves garlic, minced

nutritional yeast

almond milk

miso

DIRECTIONS

1. Heat oil in a pot over medium heat. Toss in the veggies as you finish preparing them. Once they're all in, cover and steam.

2. In a saucepan, saute the garlic in oil for a few minutes. Pour in some almond milk, add several vigorous shakes of nutritional yeast, and spoon a dollop of miso. Stir and reduce to desired consistency.

3. When potato is tender, cut off heat. Serve.

Since last update, I've published two film reviews: This Is Not a Film, The Fairy.