Elk Cloner Bashers and Mash

On January 30, 1982, Rich Skrenta wrote the first self-replicating program, or "computer virus," as it came to be called. He was 15. The virus wasn't malicious; it displayed the following poem every 50th time an infected Apple II computer rebooted:

Elk Cloner: The program with a personality

It will get on all your disks
It will infiltrate your chips
Yes, it’s Cloner!

It will stick to you like glue
It will modify RAM too
Send in the Cloner!

Don't add Earth Balance to the potatoes like I did.

serves: 1-2

prep. time: approx. 20 min.

INGEDIENTS

4 red potatoes, quartered

2 handfuls brussels sprouts

1 Field Roast sausage

nutritional yeast

almond milk

DIRECTIONS:

1. Cover the potatoes with water in a small pot. Bring to a boil. Boil until tender (but not overdone).

2. Preheat the oven to 400F. Toss the brussels sprouts in olive oil and bake until they turn bright.

3. Fry the sausage in a bit of oil over medium heat.

4. Drain the potatoes. Place back in the pot and mash with some mylk, nutritional yeast, salt, and pepper.

Nietzsche is Dead Ethiopian Stew with Kale and Bulgar

Friedrich Nietzsche died in 1900. I like to imagine his ghost and the Holy Ghost in eternal and mutually resentful company.

We're back in Providence again after a week and a half in Ontario. Best part of that trip: Canada's Wonderland, which was nothing short of wonderful (even with expensive bad food). The best ride ever! (This endorsement brought to you by the future self of a child traumatized by Disney World's Rocky Mountain Railroad.)

(The quality of food photos will here and henceforth regress due to poor lighting.) Last night A.'s friend came over for dinner. I made this Ethiopian stew from Vegan Dad; A. steamed some red kale and made bulgar. She also whipped up her signature salad dressing (oil, vinegar, garlic, shallot, spices, magic) to put over arugula.

Hurricane Irene is on the way. We're going shopping for bottled water, something I never imagined I'd do. Prepare the ark for Providence floods.

Latest installment of A Thousand K.s: "Book how?"

Chinese New Year Stuffed Cabage with Strawberry Carrot Sauce

Happy Chinese New Year! Instead of crashing my roommates' 2.5-year anniversary dinner, I made these monstrosities. This was a new and exciting kind of failure, though. Instead of having an idea for a meal and not being able to pull it off, I totally pulled it off, the conception just turned out to be flawed. So the stuffed cabbage is good, and the sauce is good, but they're not great together. Reason: the sauce is a smoothie. Also, I learned that tarragon should be used sparingly.

makes approx. 4-6 servings

INGREDIENTS:

1 c. red lentils

3/4 c. short grain brown rice

1 medium eggplant, peeled and cubed

6 red potatoes, cubed

1 medium yellow onion, diced

3 cloves garlic, minced

1/2 cabbage, pulled apart

red wine vinegar

sage

tarragon

oregano

paprika

salt

1/2 lb. frozen strawberries

1 parsnip, peeled and chopped

3 small carrots, peeled and chopped

juice of 1/2 lemon

ground black pepper

oil

DIRECTIONS:

1. Cook rice and lentils in two pots.

2. Cut stuff up. Once lentils are done, drain and refill the pot with hot water. Toss in eggplant and potato, cook on high for a while.

3. Fry the onion with oil in a large pan over medium heat. Once eggplant and potato is somewhat tender, drain and add to the pan. Refill the pot again and bring to a boil. Toss in carrots, parsnip, and all cabbage leaves that didn't make the cut as bowls.

4. Drizzle red wine vinegar into the pan and add a couple shakes of all the seasonings. Get it going on medium-high.

5. Preheat oven to 350F. Line a baking sheet with parchment paper and line with cabbage leaves.

6. Once rice is done, mix with lentils and contents of pan. Dole out into the cabbage leaves and stick in the oven for 15 min.

7. Drain the remaining pot and add parsnip, carrot, and cabbage pieces to blender with thawed strawberries. Squeeze in lemon juice, grind black pepper on top, and blend until smooth.

Once it's all set, take a taste of the sauce. It's too sweet for application on the stuffed cabbages, so fill up a glass as dessert. Fold the cabbage leaves in half and eat like cute little sandwiches.

Mike Patton Eggplant and Potato Curry

I didn't post anything yesterday because me and the roommates went out to a pan-Asian place to "celebrate" the first day of classes. It wasn't too vegan-friendly, so the less said the better. Turns out January 27 commemorates some horrible events. Luckily, today is also Mike Patton's birthday, so this curry is in his honor. He was/is the vocalist for like 8 million influential bands. Haven't really listened to his work since high school, but still got respect. Check out his band Fantômas.

I acknowledged in an earlier post that I'm not too good at making one-pot meals. Why don't I listen to myself? This came out fine, but all of the durations and some of the measurements are approximations based on little more than hunch. And I still haven't figured out how to make thick curry.

INGREDIENTS:
1 c. rice
1 medium red onion, diced
1/2 small bulb garlic, pressed
1 large eggplant, sliced into French fry-esque strips
1 small eggplant, similarly sliced
1 1/2 lb. red potatoes, quartered
3 1/2 c. water
1 14-oz. can fire roasted diced tomatoes with green chilies
1 13.5-oz. can light coconut milk
1 small jalapeno, chopped
2 tsp. fenugreek seeds
1 tsp. garam masala
1 tsp. curry powder
1/2 tsp. chili powder
1/2 tsp. cumin
1/2 tsp. cardamom
1/2 tsp. salt
1/4 tsp. turmeric
1/4 tsp. coriander
1/4 tsp. cayenne (90K Scoville)
1/4 c. cilantro
oil

DIRECTIONS:
1. Cook rice.
2. Fry the onion with oil in the bottom of a large stock pot. When translucent, add garlic. After a minute, add the eggplant and potato as you finish cutting. I actually added the small eggplant halfway through cooking because I panicked that the ratio was all wrong. You should probably not follow that example.
3. Add 2 c. water, cover and bring to a boil. Lower heat to medium and cook for something like 10-15 minutes.
4. Lower heat to medium-low. Add seasoning, optionally reserve half the cilantro for garnish. If it needs more water, use up to 1 1/2 c. Put the lid on leaving space for the steam to escape. Cook for 30-45 minutes, or until the eggplant is squishy and the potatoes are soft.