Gogol's Dead Soul Dinner

Nikolai Gogol's Dead Souls is great. Dead Nikolai Gogol is neither great nor not-great. What's really not-great is how he died. Check out what Wikipedia says:

His health was undermined by exaggerated ascetic practices and he fell into a state of deep depression. On the night of 24 February 1852 [according to the Julian calendar; this post is in accordance with the New Style dates of the Gregorian], he burned some of his manuscripts, which contained most of the second part of Dead Souls. He explained this as a mistake, a practical joke played on him by the Devil. Soon thereafter he took to bed, refused all food, and died in great pain nine days later.

[...] His body was discovered lying face down; which gave rise to the story that Gogol had been buried alive.

Would Gogol have refused all food if they'd served him red quinoa with curried stew? ... Just kidding :(

serves: 3-4

prep. time: approx. 30 min.

INGREDIENTS

2/3 c.red quinoa

1 carrot, peeled and chopped

some kale, chopped

some red cabbage, sliced

4 c.water

3/4 c.

1 sweet potato, peeled and cubed

curry powder

miso

nutritional yeast

1. Cook red quinoa according to package directions.

2. Saute carrot, kale, and red cabbage (weird combo, huh?) in coconut oil in a pot.

3. Bring water to a boil with red lentils and sweet potato, then reduce to a simmer. Season with curry powder if you're lazy like me. Stir in some miso.

4. Mix nutritional yeast into the quinoa. Throw everything together in a bowl.

The Testimony of a Ghost Tofu, Steamed Veggies, and Rice

Elva Zona Heaster was found dead on January 23, 1897. Her mother believed Elva's husband murdered her. To convince the prosecutor to reopen the case, Elva's mother referred to a vision she had had.

According to local legend, Zona appeared to her mother in a dream four weeks after the funeral. She said that Shue was a cruel man who abused her, and who had attacked her in a fit of rage when he believed that she had cooked no meat for dinner. He had broken her neck; to prove this, the ghost turned her head completely around until it was facing backwards.

I'd like to reiterate: "she had cooked no meat for dinner." Shue was convicted despite a lack of evidence because the jury believed Elva's mother's ghost story. I wish ghosts would get meathead assholes in trouble more often.

I haven't updated recently because I've been eating out a lot with my grandma. She left today. :(

serves: 3

prep. time: 50 min.

INGREDIENTS

1 c. brown jasmine rice

1 lb. tofu, cubed

6 kale leaves and stems, chopped

1/2 red cabbage, sliced

3 cloves garlic, minced

Bragg's liquid aminos

cayenne powder

dried parsley

DIRECTIONS

1. Cook the rice.

2. Steam the kale leaves and red cabbage.

3. Saute the tofu and kale stems in coconut oil. Add Bragg's periodically. Once the tofu starts to brown, season. Cook until desired texture.

I wrote an article for The Huffington Post about an incident that occurred at a bear bile farm in China in August of last year.

I also wrote this review of Aleph's album From Chaos to Cosmos for Tiny Mix Tapes.

Posthumous Promotion Curried Lentils

On January 17, 2001, President Bill Clinton posthumously promoted Meriwether Lewis from Lieutenant to Captain. I don't know why that was necessary. Don't worry, he also posthumously promoted William Clark, who was thereby spared rolling over in his grave. Seriously, though, posthumous military promotions? Waste of time.

Today is a sad day. Someday I will have fewer of those, maybe.

servers: 3-4

prep. time: approx. 30 min.

INGREDIENTS

1 c. red lentils

1 yellow onion, sliced

1 sweet potato, chopped

6 kale leaves, torn

2 plum tomatoes, chopped

~3 c. water

curry powder

Bragg's liquid aminos

nutritional yeast

DIRECTIONS

1. Saute the onion in a pot in coconut oil over medium-high heat. After it goes translucent, toss everything in and keep it at a low boil or aggressive simmer until the red lentils start to break down.

2. Stir vigorously. I ate it by itself because I forgot to put on some orzo and didn't want to wait for rice.

Högertrafikomläggningen Red Lentil Curry

Swedes drive on the right side, but it wasn't always that way. On September 3, 1967 everything changed over spontaneously. Well, there was all kinds of planning and campaigning and retrofitting, etc., and the Swedish people had voted against the change, but there was an actual short interval during which essential traffic had to stop, move to the other side of the road, stop, and drive out of the sinistral past and into the dominant future. What came of this administrative feat?

Experts suggested that changing to driving on the right would reduce accidents as people already drove left-hand drive vehicles, thereby having a better view of the road ahead. Indeed, fatal car-to-car and car-to-pedestrian accidents dropped sharply as a result. Some of the decrease was attributed to a reduction in speed limits by 10 km/h for some time after the switch. The accident rate rose back to its original level within two years.

 Last night I made curry. It actually tasted like Indian food, which I attribute largely to my use of curry powder (cheater). What you don't see in the picture is that A. and I ate it with salt, pepper, avocado slices and lemon juice. Our new feline friend sniffed but didn't partake. Instead, she ate a little bit of a potted plant and vomited on the floor. Otherwise a perfectly nice old kitty.

servings: approx. 4

prep time: 35 min.

INGREDIENTS:

1 c. red lentils

1 c. basmati rice

1/2 small can tomato paste

1/2 large red onion, sliced

1 Roma tomato, chopped

1 bunch green kale, just the leaves, chopped

3 cloves garlic, sliced

curry powder

cayenne

garlic powder

cinnamon

fenugreek seeds

DIRECTIONS:

1. Simmer rice.

2. Simmer lentils in a large-ish pot.

3. Saute onion in a pan over medium heat. Add kale as you cut it, then the tomato. After 15 min., dump it in the pot with the lentils.

4. Stir in the spices and tomato paste. Add the garlic as you slice it. Let cool a bit, or if you've got time leave it for several hours/overnight and reheat. Serve over rice with lemon juice and avocado.